Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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