Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Randomize