I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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