I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize