it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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