A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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