We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize