I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
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had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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