we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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