....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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