I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize