I wanna bring you to show and tell
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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