If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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