porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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