What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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