She said her name was "party"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize