You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He felt like a one man threesome
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize