bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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