i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize