3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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