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Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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