I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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