I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize