She's JV to your varsity
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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