I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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