Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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