My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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