if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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