I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize