If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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