I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i think i just lost a toe
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize