have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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