she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize