just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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