Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
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Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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