Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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