I puked a lego.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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