Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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