I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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