I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize