is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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