Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize