Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize