Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize