Im at strip club and am horny
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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