Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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