so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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