I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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