I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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