dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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